Wednesday Wisdom #1

Let’s walk and act with good intentions today.

Start the trend.

No One Is Coming To Save You And That Is Your Salvation

No One Is Coming To Save You Why look back?

No one is coming to save you. Not your parents, best friends, or significant other.  No matter how bad things get, they will not be able to help you.

I have told many people that I would be there with them through their tough times.  In reality, I couldn’t help them.  It’s just a fact of life.  The fact?

We must go through suffering alone.  

Only then, can we realize who we are truly destined to become. When I was in the military, I went through some of the most hellacious training with my fellow soldiers.

We always said that we were going through the “suck” with each other.  And that by suffering together, we were becoming a team.

And we did.  But ultimately each one of us dealt with alone.  If one of us quit or fell by the side of the road, the training would go on.  And the others, they may or may not look back to see if you were ok, but they continued to go on.

It’s just the nature of the beast.  But as humans, we like to sugarcoat this.  We tell each other that if you need anything “I will be there.”

What we should say is that I will be there for you, but you must travel that road basically alone.  Even if I am standing next to you.

For example, I lived in Florida for a couple of months when I transferred jobs within my corporation.  I thought I was playing the long game.  I figured I would work there for a couple years and then seek a promotion and move on.

But the situation was not a good one for my family and I.  The whole situation was a mistake: financially and emotionally. It put a strain on my kids and my marriage. So I resigned.  Later a trusted friend told me that he wondered how I was going to be able to make it there. The support wasn’t there and I felt it immediately.

Now, why didn’t he tell me that in the beginning?

Going it alone feels like a journey

Because we all go at it alone. We must in order to grow.

Once the news reached the corporate headquarters….silence.  I didn’t hear anything from my superiors.  Nothing.  And still haven’t until I reached out and I decided not to again. Ever. No animosity, I just felt it better to let it go.

So I was alone.  And I was free.  Free to learn more about myself. Free to write.  Free to figure out my next direction.  And free to find some other place worthy of my talents.

That’s freedom.

And I am not looking back.

Are You Waiting To Be Ready?

What are you going to do different this time? How are you going after your dreams?

You can’t wait on the sidelines and wish that your dreams come true. You have to put in the work. Now.

You can’t wait till you retire. Or when the money gets right. Or when you graduate college. Now is the time.

Now is the time to start writing that book. To go to that audition. To start that YouTube channel. To ask that girl/guy to spend their life with you.

Now is the time. Forget waiting to be ready. Do it now. Fail or not, at least you tried.

Let’s do this.

Never Apologize For Who You Are

Photo courtesy of Gary Vaynerchuck

Whether you’re black, white, hispanic, rich, poor or in between; never apologize for who you are.

You are you and that makes you unique.

You’re an awesome human being and you deserve to live your life how you want.

Because ultimately it’s how you feel about yourself that counts. If you want to change, change.

But don’t apologize. Own it.

How We Are Becoming Bankrupt In our Chaos And How We Can Fight It

The world is not a fun place right now.  Especially in the U.S. I mean things are very bad. It seems as if all of it is a really bad dream.  But it’s not.  It’s real life.  We are going through some significant changes to our fundamental way of life in America and I liken it to chaos.

Really.  Brother against Brother.  Friend against friend.  I don’t know about you, but it can be downright draining.  Feeling like you can’t think or even function because madness is all around you. It’s like our body has an emotional, physical, and mental bank account that is being drained.  Bankrupted even. We are allowing so many outside forces (media, people, etc) to control our day to day thinking.  I know it can be overwhelming and highjack your feelings and self-esteem.

But we can keep these feelings at bay.  How so?  By believing in yourself, surrounding yourself with good people, and practicing resiliency.

Believing in myself

Sounds simple, huh?  Well, it’s not.  As human beings, we are ingrained with a tinge of doubt.  Not just in the things we encounter but in ourselves as well. The problem is we are always seeing the good life that others are supposedly living on social media.  But that doesn’t always tell the real picture.  Everyone has bad days, but if you let social media trick you into believing otherwise, then you will be fooled 100% of the time.

Recognize that everyone goes through it and you are just seeing 50% of the truth.  Now, back to you.  You can and will be great at whatever you decide to be in life.  You just have to believe that life is an endless marathon.  Not a sprint.  I know it sounds cliché but it’s absolutely true.

I am in the second leg of mine (working in Saudi Arabia) and moving to my third (returning to the U.S.) and I am excited.  But I would have never gotten here if I didn’t believe in myself.  Really.  If I had five dollars for every person who thought I couldn’t do it and succeed…..

There wouldn’t have been a need to come.  I would have been rich!

Honestly.  The “odds” were stacked against me.  I was just about to “retire” from the military and many didn’t think I had the experience to take on this job in the corporate world.  Let alone do it overseas with no safety net.  I don’t even think the man who hired me thought I could pull it off.  But he saw something in me, I guess (thanks, John!).

Why? Because he saw that I believed in myself.  I didn’t get the job the first time, but it was offered to me later and I jumped on it.  Well, my wife said yes for me….lol.  But when I finally met my employers I exhumed confidence because I showed up like I belonged there.  I simply believed that I could excel at the job and I did.

I want you to do the same.  So while the world may feel like it is crashing all around you, ultimately you will make it through it all.  If you believe in yourself.

Surround yourself with good people

Surrounding myself with good people was something I didn’t understand early in life.  I didn’t know that you grew stronger by having the right people around you.  I kind of just fell into place but didn’t reap the benefits of it.  As I got older I started seeing how having a mutual colleague who could push you to achieve your goals helped.

Ideally,  you want someone who is going to tell you the truth always.  I don’t know about you, but I value the friends that tell me when I mess up. Because I know that it’s genuine.  Trust me, you will know if they are saying something to you maliciously.  Because real friends will stand right beside you and fix your wrongs.

You don’t want people around you who are always putting you down and picking at your mistakes.  You want people around you who are going to give it to you straight.  People who are going to kneel next to you and help pick up the pieces of your life.  Then help put it back together.

So look for people who have your best interest and are genuine.  Then turn right around and be that person for them.

Practice resiliency

So for the better part of my adult life, I served in the military.  And before resiliency became a buzz word I was doing it day in and day out.  In the profession I chose, I had to be able to bounce back from changes in tasks and missions and act as if nothing happened.  I only have a few seconds to process what was happening and then move on to something else.

That’s what resiliency is all about.  The ability to bounce back quickly from adversity.  The best way to do that is put yourself in uncomfortable situations and test your resolve.  Test how you’re going to react to things is going to make you uneasy dealing with them.  Then simply bounce back.  You choose to let it affect you for the good or hold you back for the bad.  The right thing is to turn it to fuel for good. Now I am not telling you to deal with how you feel because emotional intelligence is important.   Your mental state is key to achieving success so deal with it thoroughly, quickly and move on to greatness.

Make Mistakes So You Can Become Successful

We make mistakes. The problem is many of us don’t learn from them.

We go on to repeat them over and over again. And continue the question why we are stick in this vicious circle.

Because we don’t want to grow. We like being complacent. Even in our misery. We like to be comfortable.

We hate failing so we play it safe. Forget safe. The road to success is riddled with failure. I personally like to fail because I know success is around the corner.

So fail and fail often.

When They Tell You You Can’t, Do It Anyway

They will tell you that you can't move mountains. They will say that you can't cross seas.

That you can't dig deep and realize your own seeds of greatness and plant them to become better.

They tell you all of this because they love living in their comfort zone.

And because you want to do something, they lash out and criticize you.

But that's just their insecurities talking.
Do you.

Find what makes you passionate and do you. And do it because they said you couldn't.

Be Original. It Works. 

There are close to 7.5 billion people in the planet. But I swear it feels like close to double that. Why? Because a lot of people are too busy trying to be some one other than themselves. 

They are busy watching and trying to imitate celebrities. Why? Because of money? Their fame? Because they seem to have the perfect life? There is no such thing. 

How about this. Be yourself. Be your own celebrity. Be your own motivation, inspiration, and be driven in the pursuit of your own utopia of existence. 

Trying to be someone else will have you missing out on your own highlight reel of your life. 

Be Original.