No one is coming to save you. Not your parents, best friends, or significant other. No matter how bad things get, they will not be able to help you.
I have told many people that I would be there with them through their tough times. In reality, I couldn’t help them. It’s just a fact of life. The fact?
We must go through suffering alone.
Only then, can we realize who we are truly destined to become. When I was in the military, I went through some of the most hellacious training with my fellow soldiers.
We always said that we were going through the “suck” with each other. And that by suffering together, we were becoming a team.
And we did. But ultimately each one of us dealt with alone. If one of us quit or fell by the side of the road, the training would go on. And the others, they may or may not look back to see if you were ok, but they continued to go on.
It’s just the nature of the beast. But as humans, we like to sugarcoat this. We tell each other that if you need anything “I will be there.”
What we should say is that I will be there for you, but you must travel that road basically alone. Even if I am standing next to you.
For example, I lived in Florida for a couple of months when I transferred jobs within my corporation. I thought I was playing the long game. I figured I would work there for a couple years and then seek a promotion and move on.
But the situation was not a good one for my family and I. The whole situation was a mistake: financially and emotionally. It put a strain on my kids and my marriage. So I resigned. Later a trusted friend told me that he wondered how I was going to be able to make it there. The support wasn’t there and I felt it immediately.
Now, why didn’t he tell me that in the beginning?
Because we all go at it alone. We must in order to grow.
Once the news reached the corporate headquarters….silence. I didn’t hear anything from my superiors. Nothing. And still haven’t until I reached out and I decided not to again. Ever. No animosity, I just felt it better to let it go.
So I was alone. And I was free. Free to learn more about myself. Free to write. Free to figure out my next direction. And free to find some other place worthy of my talents.
And I am not looking back.