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No One Is Coming To Save You.

No One Is Coming To Save You Why look back?

No one is coming to save you. Not your parents, best friends, or significant other.  No matter how bad things get, they will not be able to help you.

I have told many people that I would be there with them through their tough times.  In reality, I couldn’t help them.  It’s just a fact of life.  The fact?

We must go through suffering alone.  

Only then, can we realize who we are truly destined to become. When I was in the military, I went through some of the most hellacious training with my fellow soldiers.

We always said that we were going through the “suck” with each other.  And that by suffering together, we were becoming a team.

And we did.  But ultimately each one of us dealt with alone.  If one of us quit or fell by the side of the road, the training would go on.  And the others, they may or may not look back to see if you were ok, but they continued to go on.

It’s just the nature of the beast.  But as humans, we like to sugarcoat this.  We tell each other that if you need anything “I will be there.”

What we should say is that I will be there for you, but you must travel that road basically alone.  Even if I am standing next to you.

For example, I lived in Florida for a couple of months when I transferred jobs within my corporation.  I thought I was playing the long game.  I figured I would work there for a couple years and then seek a promotion and move on.

But the situation was not a good one for my family and I.  The whole situation was a mistake, so I resigned.  Later a trusted friend told me that he wondered how I was going to be able to make it there.

Now, why didn’t he tell me that in the beginning?

Because we all go at it alone.     

Once the news reached the corporate headquarters….silence.  I didn’t hear anything from my superiors.  Nothing.  My immediate superior gave me the canned response that if I needed anything, ” just let me know as I can provide a reference.”

But I was alone.  And I was free.  Free to write.  Free to figure out my next direction.  That’s freedom.

And I am not looking back.

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The Choice To Change Is Always Yours

we can choose to be affected by the world or we can choose to affect the world

 

Occasionally you run into a friend you haven’t seen in a while and you catch up.  You both tell each other how your life has been and then the conversation turns to talk about the popular kids back in the day and where they are now.

Who cares?  Honestly.  You are the popular kid now.  You are the one shaking and moving and making things happen.  Not some kid who lettered in football.  Not some girl who was the Captain of the cheer leading squad.

See there is nothing wrong with doing those things, but that was the past.  And they aren’t still doing them.  Back then, you allowed the actions of others to set the conditions of your life.  You thought that they had it all together.

Some did, but many didn’t.  For those who did, they knew the secret early on.  Hell, we all did.  Just not many of us listened. The secret?

AFFECT CHANGE.  

Simple enough but very hard to implement.  Especially at a young age.  Think about it.  Remember a time your parents made you upset.  And you said, “When I get older I am going to move and do what I want”.  It’s been said for thousands of years, but many have not actually done it.  For those that have, I applaud you.  But not the rest of you.

That changes now.  Seriously.  I don’t know what you plan to do in your life. I don’t know how long you plan to stay in that job you hate.  I don’t know how long you will keep letting people push you around and run your life.

I do know that you have dreams, aspirations and goals to plan and complete.  I do know that you are better than that job you hate and need to get to work on something else to replace it.  I do know that none of those people physically inhabit your body so why do you let them control you mentally?

I absolutely loved the military.  I was great at my job, but I grew tired of the mundane and repetitiveness of it. I let my distaste for the day to day tasks gradually wear my spirit down.  I loved leading and mentoring soldiers living and working all over the world.  I just grew tired of seeing soldiers not reach their fullest potential and making mistakes that I did in the beginning.

But you know what I realized two years ago?  They saw themselves more than soldiers and wanted to do something else. Shocking, huh?  To someone one who was a soldier for over two decades, it was very shocking.  And I realized that I was not affecting change.  I was allowing the military to dictate change for me.

After a while there was only so much change I could affect.  So I began the process of retirement.And in this process I  walked into an abyss and the cold dark world of normalcy. I don’t regret it or look back as a failure.  I am where I belong and I love it..

I affected change and with it all the emotions that could be expected.  I feel like I felt October 7, 1992 when I left home to begin my journey.  I feel the nervousness.  The feeling of change masking itself as goosebumps and rising the hairs across my entire body.

It’s exhilarating.  You know what change feels like for me?  Freedom. Not a physical freedom from bondage.  But a sense that it was time to stop doing things like the 99% and walk the opposite path with the 1%.

Freedom to find a new uncharted path and break ground.  To be able to affect a new set of ideas and make these dreams come true. It’s not going to be easy, but affecting change never is.

What are you going to do to affect change in your life?