The world is not fair. Some people get all the breaks in life. I will never amount to anything. Why am I even here? Sound familiar? Any of it?
Each of you reading this today can identify with these sentences. At some point in your life, you will say one of them or something similar. You will feel like no matter what you say or do, you can’t get any further in life.
Ok. Well, I don’t agree with you. I know that the entire world is not fair, but mine is. My world is everything around me that I can affect. I don’t care about the chaos going on around me. You know why? Because I know my worth and you should, too.
You are worthy simply because you exist.
Yes, it’s just that simple. There is honestly no difference between you and the next person. Especially a celebrity. Well, at least, one thing: they realized their worth earlier than you. That’s it. They knew that they had someone to offer the world and they knew they could do it.
That’s what being worthy is about. Recognizing that you were born this way and that you can do and be anything you put your mind to. I know there are some skeptics out there. People who say that this is all lies and everyone is not born with the same advantages.
But I am telling you the truth. There will be tough times and obstacles. There will be times that you feel like quitting and giving up. But you can’t do that. Too many people do in life already. Be different.
Be different and believe in yourself. Be different and know you are something special created by the cosmos to be exceptional. Be different and ACTUALLY believe these words and act upon them. Don’t pay lip service to your worthiness. Use it as fuel and realize your potential is beyond imagination.
No one is better than you. No one wants it more than you. So now prove it to yourself. Prove that these words aren’t falling on death ears. It’s not going to be easy, but nothing worth having ever was.
As children, we are told that our dreams are important. Our parents tell us that if we work hard and study that they can come true. And at that age, we feel like anything is possible.
So what happened? Many will say that life happened. I understand that, but I will also say that it sounds like an excuse. See, somewhere between our youth and adulthood society told us that it wasn’t acceptable to dream anymore.
Don’t believe me? When someone is daydreaming what do people say about them? That they have their heads in the clouds right? That they can’t take anything serious and that they will never amount to anything. We both know that is not true, though.
These people didn’t succumb to society’s wishes. They knew their creative mind needed to flourish so they kept dreaming. They didn’t listen to the naysayers. They started with a dream and held onto it. They guarded the dream and nurtured it despite what anyone told them.
Sure they heard the doubters tell them to grow up and that dreaming was for children. But they didn’t listen. They slowly began to anchor their dreams to themselves. They wrapped the chain of the anchor tightly around their body and firmly pressed the anchor to their chest. Each time they heard negativity, they held onto the anchor a little tighter.
Even when they conquered one dream and moved to another, they held on to that anchor. And that’s what we all need to do. We need to think long and hard about what we really want out of life. Once you know, dream about yourself already having achieved these dreams. Capture that picture. Cement it in your mind
Attach it to your anchor and press it firmly to your chest. Wrap the chain around you and don’t let anything take it away from you. See, this is how you realize that you have grit inside of you. This is when you realize that you must grind to achieve your heart’s desires.
This is when perseverance and determination are manifested in your life and you realize that you have the power to win. You have to believe in yourself and your dreams when others don’t.
This is how you are going to get through all the tough times. Through all the days when you feel like quitting. When you are presented with a path of obstacles, you are going to hold on to that anchor and push through.
When the waters of uncertainty and despair start to creep up, use that anchor to weather the rough seas.
Anchor down, my friend.
How do you view negativity situations and adversity?
You know the world would be a pretty boring place if we all looked and acted the same. It would also be equally boring if we were all handed things without putting any effort into obtaining thing.
In the real world you and I both know that nothing is easy. Nothing is given to us for free either. You have to claw, fight, scrape, kick, and push your way to the life you want. From birth, we are surrounded by people who play a significant role in helping you realize and fulfill your dreams.
But you learn quickly in your interactions with other kids that negativity is part of the human makeup. That there will be many who don’t want you to succeed at an early age. And you have to quickly learn who has your best interests in mind all the time.
If that’s no one, that’s ok too. Because there are people out there rooting for you. You just haven’t met them yet. And something that you won’t believe, but negativity really is your friend. Now, I know you are sitting there wondering what the hell I am talking about. But hear me out.
Negativity can be used as fuel. Think about it. People who talk about other people are actually helping you. They are pointing out your so called flaws. They are allowing you to prioritize how you go about addressing these supposed flaws.
But remember that negativity is really masked insecurity. The other person is really insecure about themselves and try to project that on you. I say use that negative energy for the good. Use it as an ally in this instance to make yourself better. Here’s why.
They told you that you wouldn’t graduate school and have a better life. They told you didn’t have the experience to start your own business. They told you that if you started a blog no one would read it. They told you that no matter what you do, you will never amount to anything.
I don’t know about you, but that fires me up. Because I know that adversity is right behind negativity. They are best friends and come hand and hand. And I know that in the end both of them will make me a changed man after I am finished.
Look at adversity as really what it is: an opportunity to grow. And see negativity really as positivity. A chance for you to work through some tough times and show others and yourself that you have the grit to get through it all
See don’t look at the experience with negativity and adversity as being a bad one. The minute you do you have already lost. Plain and simple.
Look at it as a positive. They told you that you couldn’t do something and now you show them. Embrace adversity and negativity and allow them to be the fuel on your journey to greatness.
What has happened recently that you thought was negative, but could be the opposite?
How many times do you use the word no a day?
No. Say it with me. No. Why am I asking you to repeat that word? Because many of us really don’t know the power of the word no.
See, when you are a child you are taught to say no to many things. Say no to drugs. Say no to strangers. Say no if you don’t want something. Say no if you don’t feel comfortable with something or someone. We were taught to just say no.
Then we grow up and your parents begin to say no to you a lot, but you are supposed to say yes to things they want for you. Say yes to taking all the classes they want you to. Say yes to the clothes they want you to wear. Say yes to who they think you should date. Say yes to the college and the major they want you to take. Hell, you are basically saying yes to their broken dreams that they didn’t fulfill.
Then you get out in the workforce and are told that you don’t say no out here. That you should never tell your Boss no for any reason. You do what you have to do no matter what to get the job done. You are told that no is a career killer. Basically, they would rather you sacrifice your soul than to tell them no.
Want to know how many times I told people no in my military career? A lot. Maybe that’s why I am not in the military anymore! Oh well. Honestly, I believe in the power of the word no. I believe that the word frees you up from doing things that you otherwise would neve find yourself doing.
See, Steve Jobs believed that by saying No to a lot of things it helped you to be focused on a few. Really focusing on what you want to do in life. Not what your parents or friends want you to do. Focusing on what matters.
See, I said no to a lot of bad ideas in my life. Even when I was looking for a job after I retired I said no to jobs I didn’t want to do. I wasn’t being picky. I just wanted something better. Only by saying no to the norm is how you will get further in life. And you will probably lose some friends. Maybe even some love ones. But if they truly believe and care for you hearing no won’t turn them away from you.
Hearing no will hopefully show them that you are strong in your convictions and know what you want in life. That you want to be in charge of your life decisions. Because saying yes to everyone else and saying no to what you want will get you nowhere.
What’s important to you? What makes you jump out of bed in the morning? What fuels your every waking moment? Those are the things that you should always say yes to. Until those are accomplished, everything else should be told no. Because if you really want them you will stay focus on only these things.
You want to be a better person and live a fulfilling life right? You have to say no to things that will take away from that. You have to say no to people who think they know what’s best for you. Sure, listen to people’s advice. But if you feel in your gut that you are being led the wrong way, say no.
The whole reason for your existence is to be the best person you can possibly in your lifetime. You should want to achieve everything that you wanted as a kid.
I am not saying that you will be another Steve Jobs. Who wants to be? I would imagine that he would want you to be better than him in whatever you decide to be.
But he would definitely want you to say the word no more.
What are you going to say no to today that you have been putting off?
We are rattled. Off kilter. Unfocused. Something threw us off our balance and we can’t get back on track.
You know why? Because we won’t take the time to reset ourselves. To get back into our right position in life
We need to stop everything and get back in focus. Think about a photographer. Before he takes that picture he pauses for a second to get his shot into focus.
We need to do the same in our lives. We need to stop hopping out of bed rushing to our job. We need to know what our focus is for that day.
Write down what you want to accomplish, but do it the night before you go to bed. Then sleep. Wake up the next day and visualize your goals and focus your tasks for the day. Then execute with clarity.
When things start to get hectic get up and take a five minute break. Walk away from the chaos and refocus on what’s a priority to you right now. Focus on your breathing and quieting your mind.
Then step back into the environment and handle your business and the tasks at hand.
See, stepping away from the situation or simply focusing on your wellbeing for a couple of seconds helps you immensely. Trust me I know. I have had to do it a couple of times.
There have been times in the military I have been presented with tough decisions. But I always took a moment to focus on my state of mind and cleared it. Only then was I able to make a sound and right decision.
We all could use sometime to refocus our thinking to achieve positive growth in our personal lives.
What do you need to refocus your efforts on? Comment below and let me know.
Normally we are moving at a good pace through life. Accomplishing things at will and with good intentions. But some days we get caught in quicksand and can’t progress at all.
Obstacles, which we know how to deal with, can stop us temporarily. They force us to relook our plan and find new ways around, over, or through them. The key is to keep moving.
My wife has been working out for a couple months and I am very proud of her. One of her goals is to start doing 5Ks and she sticks to her running plan. In the evenings, we go to the local high school track and she gets her mileage in.
Even when she stops to talk to her little girls her feet are still moving. Still staying in constant motion. Granted she is not moving, but in essence she is moving. Get it? Her feet are still moving and her mind is still turning. Her goal is till firmly planted in her mind and she knows that she is going to accomplish it.
No matter what we come up against in life we have to continue moving. We want to ideally keep moving forward. We may have to go left or right for an unspecified amount of time, but we have to keep moving with our goal still in the forefront of our mind.
Do me a favor, take the next 51 seconds to watch the below video. I think after watch you will be ready and energized to keep moving forward.
We fear many things in the course of our life. We mostly fear things we can’t comprehend. Why you ask? Because it is easier to fear than to understand.
It is easier for us to say we are afraid of things than to take the time to study them. We rather live in self imposed fear than to take the time to figure out life’s mysteries.
Take the chance. Break the cycle. Study what you fear. Learn something new to become better.
Occasionally you run into a friend you haven’t seen in a while and you catch up. You both tell each other how your life has been and then the conversation turns to talk about the popular kids back in the day and where they are now.
Who cares? Honestly. You are the popular kid now. You are the one shaking and moving and making things happen. Not some kid who lettered in football. Not some girl who was the Captain of the cheer leading squad.
See there is nothing wrong with doing those things, but that was the past. And they aren’t still doing them. Back then, you allowed the actions of others to set the conditions of your life. You thought that they had it all together.
Some did, but many didn’t. For those who did, they knew the secret early on. Hell, we all did. Just not many of us listened. The secret?
Simple enough but very hard to implement. Especially at a young age. Think about it. Remember a time your parents made you upset. And you said, “When I get older I am going to move and do what I want”. It’s been said for thousands of years, but many have not actually done it. For those that have, I applaud you. But not the rest of you.
That changes now. Seriously. I don’t know what you plan to do in your life. I don’t know how long you plan to stay in that job you hate. I don’t know how long you will keep letting people push you around and run your life.
I do know that you have dreams, aspirations and goals to plan and complete. I do know that you are better than that job you hate and need to get to work on something else to replace it. I do know that none of those people physically inhabit your body so why do you let them control you mentally?
I absolutely loved the military. I was great at my job, but I grew tired of the mundane and repetitiveness of it. I let my distaste for the day to day tasks gradually wear my spirit down. I loved leading and mentoring soldiers living and working all over the world. I just grew tired of seeing soldiers not reach their fullest potential and making mistakes that I did in the beginning.
But you know what I realized two years ago? They saw themselves more than soldiers and wanted to do something else. Shocking, huh? To someone one who was a soldier for over two decades, it was very shocking. And I realized that I was not affecting change. I was allowing the military to dictate change for me.
After a while there was only so much change I could affect. So I began the process of retirement.And in this process I walked into an abyss and the cold dark world of normalcy. I don’t regret it or look back as a failure. I am where I belong and I love it..
I affected change and with it all the emotions that could be expected. I feel like I felt October 7, 1992 when I left home to begin my journey. I feel the nervousness. The feeling of change masking itself as goosebumps and rising the hairs across my entire body.
It’s exhilarating. You know what change feels like for me? Freedom. Not a physical freedom from bondage. But a sense that it was time to stop doing things like the 99% and walk the opposite path with the 1%.
Freedom to find a new uncharted path and break ground. To be able to affect a new set of ideas and make these dreams come true. It’s not going to be easy, but affecting change never is.
What are you going to do to affect change in your life?
There will never be a perfect time for you to do what needs to be done. There won’t be a perfect time to leave your job and take the chance on doing something you actually enjoy. There will not be a perfect time to tell your parents you want to live your life and not be a repeat of theirs. There won’t ever be a perfect time to ask your love to marry you.
Now is the time. Continue reading “Why There Are No Perfect Moments.”