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No One Is Coming To Save You.

No One Is Coming To Save You Why look back?

No one is coming to save you. Not your parents, best friends, or significant other.  No matter how bad things get, they will not be able to help you.

I have told many people that I would be there with them through their tough times.  In reality, I couldn’t help them.  It’s just a fact of life.  The fact?

We must go through suffering alone.  

Only then, can we realize who we are truly destined to become. When I was in the military, I went through some of the most hellacious training with my fellow soldiers.

We always said that we were going through the “suck” with each other.  And that by suffering together, we were becoming a team.

And we did.  But ultimately each one of us dealt with alone.  If one of us quit or fell by the side of the road, the training would go on.  And the others, they may or may not look back to see if you were ok, but they continued to go on.

It’s just the nature of the beast.  But as humans, we like to sugarcoat this.  We tell each other that if you need anything “I will be there.”

What we should say is that I will be there for you, but you must travel that road basically alone.  Even if I am standing next to you.

For example, I lived in Florida for a couple of months when I transferred jobs within my corporation.  I thought I was playing the long game.  I figured I would work there for a couple years and then seek a promotion and move on.

But the situation was not a good one for my family and I.  The whole situation was a mistake, so I resigned.  Later a trusted friend told me that he wondered how I was going to be able to make it there.

Now, why didn’t he tell me that in the beginning?

Because we all go at it alone.     

Once the news reached the corporate headquarters….silence.  I didn’t hear anything from my superiors.  Nothing.  My immediate superior gave me the canned response that if I needed anything, ” just let me know as I can provide a reference.”

But I was alone.  And I was free.  Free to write.  Free to figure out my next direction.  That’s freedom.

And I am not looking back.

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Dream Your Dream

Keep dreaming. Don’t allow people to tell you dreaming is silly. Don’t allow people to tell you that you need to grow up and be responsible.

Dreaming is responsible. As long as you are acting on them. As long as you trying to elevate your life and that of others.

Keep Dreaming with your eyes wide open. Don’t miss a thing.

-alv

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How Saying No Will Make Your Dreams Come True

How many times do you use the word no a day?

No.  Say it with me.  No.  Why am I asking you to repeat that word?  Because many of us really don’t know the power of the word no.

See, when you are a child you are taught to say no to many things.  Say no to drugs.  Say no to strangers.  Say no if you don’t want something. Say no if you don’t feel comfortable with something or someone.  We were taught to just say no.

Then we grow up and your parents begin to say no to you a lot, but you are supposed to say yes to things they want for you.  Say yes to taking all the classes they want you to.  Say yes to the clothes they want you to wear. Say yes to who they think you should date.  Say yes to the college and the major they want you to take.  Hell, you are basically saying yes to their broken dreams that they didn’t fulfill.

Then you get out in the workforce and are told that you don’t say no out here.  That you should never tell your Boss no for any reason.  You do what you have to do no matter what to get the job done.  You are told that no is a career killer. Basically, they would rather you sacrifice your soul than to tell them no.

Want to know how many times I told people no in my military career?  A lot. Maybe that’s why I am not in the military anymore!  Oh well. Honestly, I believe in the power of the word no.  I believe that the word frees you up from doing things that you otherwise would neve find yourself doing.

See, Steve Jobs believed that by saying No to a lot of things it helped you to be focused on a few.  Really focusing on what you want to do in life.  Not what your parents or friends want you to do.  Focusing on what matters.

See, I said no to a lot of bad ideas in my life. Even when I was looking for a job after I retired I said no to jobs I didn’t want to do.  I wasn’t being picky.  I just wanted something better.   Only by saying no to the norm is how you will get further in life.  And you will probably lose some friends.  Maybe even some love ones.  But if they truly believe and care for you hearing no won’t turn them away from you.

Hearing no will hopefully show them that you are strong in your convictions and know what you want in life.  That you want to be in charge of your life decisions. Because saying yes to everyone else and saying no to what you want will get you nowhere.

What’s important to you?  What makes you jump out of bed in the morning?  What fuels your every waking moment?  Those are the things that you should always say yes to.  Until those are accomplished, everything else should be told no.  Because if you really want them you will stay focus on only these things.

You want to be a better person and live a fulfilling life right?  You have to say no to things that will take away from that.  You have to say no to people who think they know what’s best for you.  Sure, listen to people’s advice.  But if you feel in your gut that you are being led the wrong way, say no.

The whole reason for your existence is to be the best person you can possibly in your lifetime. You should want to achieve everything that you wanted as a kid.

I am not saying that you will be another Steve Jobs.  Who wants to be?  I would imagine that he would want you to be better than him in whatever you decide to be.

But he would definitely want you to say the word no more.

-alv

 

What are you going to say no to today that you have been putting off?

 

 

General Information

Born to Lead

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I try and listen to Lewis Howes at least two or three times a week.  He is a lifestyle entrepreneur who leads by example and lives by always giving to others.  I particularly liked this podcast called Born to Lead.  It follows my theme here at Living The Dream about helping yourself first to help others. So take five minutes of your day to listen.  I think you will enjoy it.

 -alv

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CEO

Everyone will tell you how and what to do with your life.  Everyone will tell you to go to college, get a good job and work hard.  Nothing wrong with that, but is that necessarily for everyone?  Maybe.  Maybe not. The point is that it’s your choice and you must take control of your life.  Go and execute. Live your life.  

-alv

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Surround Yourself with Good (MM)

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   “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”-Jim Rohn 

     We have all heard this quote or a variation of it at some point of our life.  Maybe it was in a class.  Maybe it came from your mother when she questioned you about the friends you kept as a teenager.  But it’s true.  It’s not about stereotyping.  It’s about the company you keep affecting your life and the decisions you make. Continue reading “Surround Yourself with Good (MM)”

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The reason I write

I write a lot to just get out my inner thoughts.  A lot of times I am talking to myself more than anything.  Not always knowing that I am helping someone get back on track.  I am humbled to see words like below come across my Facebook timeline.

“Antonio Vereen, this should be enough motivation for you to keep going! You’ve truly inspired me to evaluate and take time to lift my esteem back to a “go getter” type personality. I look and write it everyday, so that it sticks. Keep up the blogs please, they do make a bigger impact than ending with yourself. Thanks SO much for sharing your beautiful mind and optimism on life. ~ your Brother in Arms”

Grush's words

Thank you Matt.  Keep Living The Dream Brother.

-alv

General Information

Be happy. Keep working.

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We are always watching what the next person has. Trying to stay relevant with material things. Relevant to people who care nothing about you.
Oftentimes we are worried about being popular and making others jealous. When you should be grateful for what you have now and working on something better. It’s all about building a legacy that your ancestors could be proud of.

-alv