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Stop Setting Yourself On Fire For Others

We are all guilty of it.  We meet someone and we subconsciously become obsessed with them. I am not just talking about someone you are romantically interested in. That goes for platonic relationships, too. As humans, we have an insane yearning to be liked and accepted by others.

Think about it. You gave your all to a person who left you at the moment you needed them the most. In your most vulnerable state they ran. You set yourself on fire to keep their love near you. Instead of staying they ran when the flames got too hot.

They ran from your love.  From your commitment to them.  From everything, you gave to them.  And while it was going on you had no idea because you were blinded by the flames.

By that time, you were burning out of control and couldn’t understand what was happening around you. You couldn’t see that they moved on. And by that time you couldn’t react to the situation.

Not you? How about your “friends”? Take a look. Which ones are there for you at your worst?  Which one always makes every conversation about them when it shouldn’t be?

Who calls you only when they need something? Who asks all of you, but won’t answer the phone when you need them the most.  When they ask for you to help, you are all in and blindly at that.

Still not you?  Ok, let’s look at the workplace. Yes, even here you are burning out of control. Now I hear you already, “But I have to do what my Boss says”. That’s not what I am talking about. I am talking about watching out for yourself and  not being taken advantage of.

I’m talking about you not staying late for hours while the slackers go home. Telling you they would stay and help but they had plans already. Be productive, but don’t get burned alive. Be a team member, but don’t get abused and misused.

Listen, my intention for this post was not to bring up old wounds. I didn’t write this to hurt any feelings or get you down.  I wrote this to wake you up and see that you are on fire for all the wrong damn reasons. You are burning yourself out pleasing people who don’t care about you or don’t value your time.  Who are selfish and just not good damn people.

I want you to extinguish those flames, but keep the spark alive. Keep the spark burning to stoke your ambition. Keep it burning for those who deserve and need your help.  And if you see someone else on fire, help them out. They  have no idea what’s happening and you probably just made a new friend.

-alv

 

 

 

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Nothing Is Over Until You Stop Trying

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What is stopping you in the pursuit of your dreams?

That’s you.  Standing in front of the ice.  The lake.  The mountains.  Subconsciously we quickly think of the journey as being impossible.  That know matter how much energy we exert, we won’t make it.  That this is the end of the journey for us.

And at first glance, anyone would think the same.  I mean look at it. The very sight of it makes you want to question your sanity.  To be honest, most would just quit there.  Just stop.

But we aren’t the stopping kind of people are we?  We aren’t going to let obstacles get in our way are we?  These are  just tests, trials and tribulations to see if we are strong enough.

To see if we have the grit inside of us to carry on.  And you and I both know that you do. We have overcome more in our lifetime than many others.  Many who have succumbed to the weight of it on their shoulders.  We don’t stop. We don’t quit.

We just lean into it and keep going.  One foot in front of the other.  slowly going across the ice on this cold river of uncertainty.  Climbing the mountain not able to see over the top for hours, days, maybe months and sometimes years.  We climb towards the inevitable.  Only one thing is certain on this trip:  Failure and quitting is behind us as we move further and further away.

And why would you want to quit right in the middle?  Listen, quitting doesn’t make you a bad person. But it doesn’t make you a better one either.  If you are stop trying something because it’s too dangerous, I get it.  But if you are stopping just because it makes you uncomfortable……that’s the point!  The point is to shed the comfort zone and move to somewhere else unrecognizable.

Time to make the unfamiliar very familiar.

This is your wake up call.  Time to climb some mountains.

If you liked this post, please share it with your friends.  I would great appreciate it!