4 Tips That Will Help You Become Your True Self

(courtesy of RedFrost Motivation)

 Do you know who you are?

There is someone out there right now who is feeling less than themselves.  There are a number of people out there who are just existing and getting by.  Caught in the rat race of life. They are getting by, but not happy where they are. More importantly who they are.

So what do they do?  Besides feeling hopeless and full of self-pity. What do they do need to do?

1. Figure out what you want.  Do you want to go to school? Be an entrepreneur? Be a school teacher?  The first step is figuring out what exactly do you want to be in  life.  I don’t know what makes you passionate.  What keeps you up at night and always in your thoughts during the day?

2.  Write and plan it out. Seeing things in black and white does something to the mind.  It gives an unofficial contract and gets many people fired up and ready. But you have to plan it out and figure out the steps needed to achieve your dreams.

3. Visualize it.  Sit down and close your eyes.  Take a few minutes and visualize yourself living this life already.  Who is there  with you? Who can you see that contributed to your success and is right there with you? I want you to  take the time and really see it as clearly as possible.

4. Take physical action and do it.  That’s right.  You know what you want.  You planned it out and you visualized it.  You know the details.  Now time to act on it!  You now know what it takes to be an entrepreneur, so get to work.

You wrote your plan out to get that college degree.  So it’s time to apply and get it into school.  No fear. I know you are nervous.  That’s understandable.  But we are not going to let fear take over our desire for a better life.

This is our lifeline to living an actual life not an existence.  No living organism on this planet is just existing.  Everything is living life to the fullest. With a plan and a vision of something greater that what they currently are.

  So are you ready?

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Nothing Is Over Until You Stop Trying


What is stopping you in the pursuit of your dreams?

That’s you.  Standing in front of the ice.  The lake.  The mountains.  Subconsciously we quickly think of the journey as being impossible.  That know matter how much energy we exert, we won’t make it.  That this is the end of the journey for us.

And at first glance, anyone would think the same.  I mean look at it. The very sight of it makes you want to question your sanity.  To be honest, most would just quit there.  Just stop.

But we aren’t the stopping kind of people are we?  We aren’t going to let obstacles get in our way are we?  These are  just tests, trials and tribulations to see if we are strong enough.

To see if we have the grit inside of us to carry on.  And you and I both know that you do. We have overcome more in our lifetime than many others.  Many who have succumbed to the weight of it on their shoulders.  We don’t stop. We don’t quit.

We just lean into it and keep going.  One foot in front of the other.  slowly going across the ice on this cold river of uncertainty.  Climbing the mountain not able to see over the top for hours, days, maybe months and sometimes years.  We climb towards the inevitable.  Only one thing is certain on this trip:  Failure and quitting is behind us as we move further and further away.

And why would you want to quit right in the middle?  Listen, quitting doesn’t make you a bad person. But it doesn’t make you a better one either.  If you are stop trying something because it’s too dangerous, I get it.  But if you are stopping just because it makes you uncomfortable……that’s the point!  The point is to shed the comfort zone and move to somewhere else unrecognizable.

Time to make the unfamiliar very familiar.

This is your wake up call.  Time to climb some mountains.

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Explore. Expand. Evolve.


Many people will tell you that childhood is the age of discovery. Others will say that your adolescence is when you find out the good and bad of the world and the rules society places upon us.  That pretty much by the time you reach adulthood, you know how things are done.  And either you conform or you don’t.

But I believe, like many, that life is a continuous process of learning.  That every day we should seek out something new to learn.  That we should not put our head down on any surface until we can say we have accomplished that task.

But there are many I see and come in contact with who feel otherwise.  I once had a leader in the military tell me that a brand new soldier couldn’t teach them anything.  I felt sorry for that person. Mainly because it was a young person who helped him learn how to operate his new iPhone!

See that type of thinking is close minded and really has no place in society.  You should be open and accepting to learning new things.  Good or bad.  Because ultimately it’s up to you whether you retain the information and use it at a later time.

That leads me perfectly into the reason why I am writing today. Because I want you to simply use the following three words to enrich your life starting now.


I want you to explore parts of your town that you haven’t been to yet.  Safely of course.  I want you to check out a different genre and style of writing.  I suggest The Alchemist by Paolo Coelho.  It’s about finding one’s destiny.  Or read up on a part of the world that lives very much different from you do.  The point is to find something that will require you to be outside your comfort zone.

Then I suggest you use that new found information to expand your thinking. To truly have an open mind and understand all the new knowledge you have acquired.  What have you got to lose?

Absolutely nothing.  But you have everything to gain.  You truly start to see that everything doesn’t revolve around your block or in your city.

Expanding your mind allows your thought process to grow.  It allows you to see things through other’s eyes and brings a greater understanding and compassion to our troubled world.  It won’t let you pass that man lying in the street and not feel something. It will compel you to stop and aid him in some way.

And this all leads you to evolve.  The most important aspect in this journey.  By evolving you leave your old ways and become a better person. You start to see and think differently in situations you are placed in.  You subconsciously steer clear from things that bring no value to your life and well-being.

You would rather use that time to talk to a young group of kids looking for direction.  Or volunteering with a literacy program.  Evolving will, in my opinion, make you more compassionate.  Not centered on your own individual needs.

Explore new things.  Expand your thinking. Most of all, evolve into a better person. Then start the process all over again.

What new things are you going to explore today?



Are You Sabotaging Your Own Success?

It is said that an average human being can have between 25,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day.  Imagine how many of those are negative thoughts.  How many times you are subconsciously telling yourself that you can’t accomplish this.  You can’t do that.  It will never work.

I had a difficult background, filled with no concrete role model and a lot of figuring out things on my own.  I am honestly not unlike many other kids who had to fend for themselves during their adolescents. Sure, I had my father and step-mother, but there was not a lot of child rearing and teaching lessons. 

I had to fend for myself.  I didn’t hear a lot of “great job” and other accolades.  It was as if I was expected to achieve greatness and success with no blueprint or example to go off of.  Saying it was tough would be an understatement.

My attitude and outlook became very pessimistic and I was depressed.   This went on for the first ten years of my military career. But when I finally got fed up with living a mediocre existence, I changed.  It honestly took seeing other people happy and enjoying their life.  What’s the difference between me and them?

They didn’t wallow in self-pity.  They worked hard and enjoyed the process, keeping their goals in the front of their mind.  The progressed past me in rank and responbility.  All because they had the right attitude.  That of perseverance.  

See, I had a bright future with a good career.  I just let the dark clouds and obstacles get in the way. When I mapped out my plan it made it easier to seek out people who could aid me in my journey.  My biggest problem is I compared my life with theirs.  My happiness to theirs.  Bad idea.  Success is ultimately an individual thing.  I need to do the physical and mental work to achieve it.  Only I would get the emotional high of achievement when it was done.  

The last ten years of my career flew by when I changed.  But I remember it like it was yesterday because I was happy.  I got out of a marriage that I wasn’t fully invested in and have a wonderful family now.  And when the military wasn’t fun anymore, I retired.  Best decision ever because I found my first love again:  writing.  

Surround yourself with the right people.  People who have no negative thoughts prevalent in their mind.  You ever walked into a room and there was someone else there, but they weren’t in a good mood?  You can feel the tension and bad aura.  You just want to leave the room so it doesn’t rub on you.  

Map out what needs to be done.  Share it with those closest to you, but you do the work.  You climb the damn obstacles.  And be optimistic in the pursuit of your greatness.  I am rooting for you.  



How Your Attitude Effects Your Growth

Attitude determines altitude

Your mom always told you about your bad attitude as a child, huh?  Mine used to tell me that a bad attitude will stunt your growth.  Luckily I listened because I am over six feet tall now!

But is the old wise saying even true?  I would say yes.  Think about it this scenario:  You just had an argument with someone and minutes later you are still reeling from it.  You are thinking the worse derogatory thoughts imaginable about that person.  You are festering in a bad aura and can’t think about anything else.  Practically seeing red.

Now it’s been ten minutes or so and you finally calm down and allow the anger to subside.  But what have you gained?  Nothing.  But you have lost six hundred seconds of productive time.  The time you could of spend achieving something worthwhile besides a bad attitude.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I am not saying that you must go through life never being angry.  That’s ridiculous. What I am saying is the more you stay in the positive zone, the more you will achieve.  Yes, you will learn through pain, anger, and despair.  But the quicker you get out of those zones and into the positive side, the faster you will see growth.

See, when you fail at something you feel beaten down and have a solemn attitude.  If you wallow there, you will continue to stay at the same level.  But if you take the necessary time to learn from the mistake and then apply it, you quickly move out of your current position to a better one.  A lot of times it’s a vertical position and not lateral. Ultimately placing you above where you just were and at a heightened sense of awareness.

Make a conscious effort to go into work, school, or just start your day with a good attitude.  Make an effort to smile and speak to people.  Help out a friend at work and get them a coffee on the way in.  See how much it changes their attitude and how more productive they become.

You will indeed grow and add points to your overall character and reputation amongst your colleagues. Like the picture suggests, having the right attitude will have you soaring above the clouds quickly.

What are you consciously going to do today to make sure you start  the day with the right attitude?


General Information

Isn’t It Time To Get In Focus?


We are rattled. Off kilter. Unfocused. Something threw us off our balance and we can’t get back on track.

You know why?  Because we won’t take the time to reset ourselves. To get back into our right position in life

We need to stop everything and get back in focus. Think about a photographer. Before he takes that picture he pauses for a second to get his shot into focus.

We need to do the same in our lives. We need to stop hopping out of bed rushing to our job. We need to know what our focus is for that day.

Write down what you want to accomplish, but do it the night before you go to bed. Then sleep. Wake up the next day and visualize your goals and focus your tasks for the day. Then execute with clarity.

When things start to get hectic get up and take a five minute break. Walk away from the chaos and refocus on what’s a priority to you right now. Focus on your breathing and quieting your mind.

Then step back into the environment and handle your business and the tasks at hand.

See, stepping away from the situation or simply focusing on your wellbeing for a couple of seconds helps you immensely. Trust me I know. I have had to do it a couple of times.

There have been times in the military I have been presented with tough decisions. But I always took a moment to focus on my state of mind and cleared it. Only then was I able to make a sound and right decision.

We all could use sometime to refocus our thinking to achieve positive growth in our personal lives.

What do you need to refocus your efforts on?  Comment below and let me know.



Why Discipline Will Help You Throughout Your Life

We all want a lot out of life. We should. In the end we all want to look back and say we lived a full life. One with more experiences in the plus column rather than the negative one. 

But with all things in life it requires some discipline.  Sometimes a lot of discipline. Either way I think that the word gets a bad rap because many view it with negative connotations. 

See, I am not talking about full blown military Drill Sergeant type of discipline. I am not talking about someone controlling your every move and you loathing to hear their voice. Many of us don’t require that. 

No, I am talking about having enough self discipline to accomplish your goals. To come up with some type of structure in the pursuit of everything your want and need in life. But to not just want it all right now. 

See our biggest problem is most of us live in a society that thrives of instant gratification. A lot of us want success now without having to expend too much energy. 

Some of you are shaking your heads at me. That’s fine because you know I am right. Look around at your friends. The ones who are disciplined are often talked about as being out of touch with reality. 

No, they are perfectly intuned with themselves and reality. They know that they are sacrificing a little now to gain and bigger reward later. And it all is about discipline.

The discipline to wait for the reward and stick to the plan. See, discipline is your consistency. Your staying power. 

The reason to get out of the bed in the morning. The reason and the fuel to keep going day in and day out. Especially when you don’t want to. 

Discipline gives you longevity in this life. It will help you to mature and take responsibility for your actions. It will calm you down and keep your hand steady when you need it most. 

I want us all to succeed in life. Let’s just all be disciplined in our approach. 



We Control Our Destiny.


 (photo courtesy of

There are many things in this life that are out of our control. Where you’re born. How you are raised.  As we get older we  decide where we want to live, be in love with (sometimes), and how we look on a day-to-day basis.

All of this is in line with our destiny.  We are the creator of our dreams. We decide which goals we want to pursue and how hard to work on them each day.  

Sure, we have special people in our life that can aid in our pursuit, but they shouldn’t dictate your destiny.  When we allow this to happen, we get off of course.  Don’t believe me?

Remember back in your teens years when there was something that you really wanted to do. But you allowed your boyfriend or girlfriend to talk you out of it.  Because you cared more about their feelings and their place in your life, then your happiness.

How did that work out for you?  For those of you who it did, congratulations.  But the majority of you, it didn’t.  And you have regretted it ever since, huh?

I am not telling you that you can’t have and build a wonderful life with someone.  I am telling you that life and your destiny does not end if they decide to leave it.

No more regrets.  It’s time to create a life that you will look back on and be happy that you lived it.

It’s Monday and it’s time to create new goals for the week. Make one of them to share this post with someone who is struggling with finding their way.  You will feel better in the long run.

Trust me.


P.S. What are you going to create today to add to your destiny?  Let me know in the comments.


Think to Become.

   We can try each day to train our body to perform the most difficult feats.  We can try and learn and speak a different language in less than a year.  We can apply and hope to graduate from a top-notch college or university.

But we are forgetting one important thing.  The mind. Continue reading “Think to Become.”


Focus on Number One


Day in and day out your focus on making sure things are running smoothly. At work and at home.

You focus on your goals and aspirations. You focus on ensuring you have things in place to accomplish them. You focus on the future and how you will spend that hard earned time.

But when are you focusing on you? Continue reading “Focus on Number One”